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Trump so dumb he think Aleppo is one of the Marx brothers

October 15, 2016

Jude and I just regained e-contact with the rest of the world.  Our phone and internet problems were resolved yesterday.  That meant the only way we could reach other humans was to drive to our neighbours, leaving us with satellite TV.

But that was distraction writ large.  I’m watching so much CNN that I’m hoarse from yelling at Trump.  I do watch the occasional sporting event, so I can yell at the tube as God intended.

How  could I resist the implosion of Droopy Donnie, the explosion of the GOP, and an election so screwy that Hillary still has to fight for every vote?  The distance between Michelle Obama’s soaring speech and Trump’s bragging about his package in the primaries would have to be measured in light-years.  That high/low thing, don’t ya know.

Even though I hope Clinton deals the Donald a soul-crushing (if he has one) defeat, I more so hope that we’ll mark 2016 as the year sexual assault came out of the shadows and into the national conversation.  Even Trump’s female surrogates don’t seem to get it.  They parrot his outrageous misogynist fabrications so reliably that they’ve ruined irony.  One of them, Dr. Gina Loudon, even works with abuse victims.

In general, the surrogates are a textbook case (nay, a textbook itself) of how to lie, misrepresent, deflect, obfuscate and spin.  Watch them in a CNN panel discussion.  When they hear something — facts, for example — that they don’t like, many of them shake their head vigorously.  Jude and I call it the Kayleigh shake, named after Kayleigh McEnany.  She’s not the worst of the surrogates, but we’ve voted her most irritating, edging out Scottie Nell Hughes.  Corey Lewandoski, who looks like he’s actually spitting venom, wins Mister Noncongeniality.

Our puppy Katoo chose Trump himself.  She often barks at the TV when he speaks.

The major issues aside, I can’t peel away from the set too long because every day provides hilarious sideshows.  This afternoon Droopy Donnie suggested, in his incomparable passive-aggressive way, that Hillary is juicing for the debates.  Forget ISIS, he wants her to drug test.

One of the news shows had a segment on how employable the Donald would be outside of Trump Tower.  Can you imagine him as a Wal-Mart greeter?  “Sporting goods, aisle 34, pal.  Get a gun and take yourself off the welfare rolls.  Cosmetics?  Don’t even bother, lady.  You’re a three, tops.  Groceries?  Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

I urge you to vote.  The more who do, the more accurate a picture we’ll have about the mood of the country.  And Hillary is gonna need it.  She’ll inherit a sharply divided nation. It will help her to know how many Americans are okay with racism, xenophobia, enhanced torture and sexual abuse.





  1. October 16, 2016 2:37 pm

    Some dogs are smarter than some people. It’s a fact! Go, Katoo!

  2. Brown Brother permalink
    October 17, 2016 12:32 pm

    Allen, good to see you back on the airwaves…or, rather, the ‘netwaves! I have missed your comments, they are a source of light in an otherwise very dark time!
    The family is still planning to submit our passport applications soon. You remember the Scout motto: Be Prepared!
    Hope all is well on the island. We started thinking about getting started prepping for winter, but it’s 90 deg. F today, so I’m resisting firing up the chain saw to cut fire wood…
    Peace, BB

  3. October 18, 2016 11:08 am

    Wow Allen so good to read your post and know your back online. I have missed your descriptive blogs and today was a good one.
    I am so disgusted with Trump that when I see an article or news video I just want to scream out “What Bullshit are you tossing out now?” So far he doesn’t disappoint in the BS department. When he says “Trust Me” or “Believe Me” or any of the other crapola sayings, I know that another lie or a big accusation is coming and I cringe to see if it will top all of the others that he has brandished these past months.
    I watched a video of a news channel and a woman that is a Trump supporter. She said regarding the sexual overtones of the famous tapes and accusers… “Oh please, you know Boys will be Boys!” I would love to have asked her…. Would your reaction be the same if this was your daughter? Would you think that the Boys will be Boys mentality would have just been something to brush aside if you or your daughter, granddaughter, aunt, mother, sister or cousin was groped against their will or talked about in that fashion?
    I don’t know what is going to happen. I mean Trump insists that the election is rigged, he wants Hilary to be drug tested, he wants to build a wall, he wants to prove the size of his man hood… There is something seriously wrong with this man. Thank You for letting me vent. I am going to vote but Never Trump!!!!!
    Take care Allen and please say hello to Jude for me and give Kato a cuddle and hug for me… Beth

  4. October 20, 2016 4:23 pm

    Why does Hilary get a pass for her many transgressions. Best you folks stay in Canada where morals don’t count so much and it’s not a sin to take the coins off of a dead man’s eyes. I’m not condoning Trump, just saying there has been much Presidential precedent for male excesses. Or as Hilary has said, “What difference does it make?”

  5. October 21, 2016 7:38 am

    I am not voting for Hilary either…….. I haven’t decided if I might just write in someone. I don’t really know much about Pence. The Donald really hasn’t been talking much to him and have said some things in the past that makes me think that this Union isn’t such a great one but if he can stand up to Trump then maybe he is not a total bad guy lol….. Hilary should not get a pass. She has a lot of things that she has done that is more than wrong. It is in fact illegal… Or so I have heard. I also hear that the Media is crooked too…….. still I take the media stories over anything that Trump and Clinton are spewing when they open their mouths.

  6. Allen permalink
    October 22, 2016 12:53 pm

    As I continue to rest and unkink from months of cutting and tossing rounds of Doug fir, I appreciate all your comments. And I’d like to assure bob that incidents of Canadians taking coins off dead men’s eyes were down 8 percent last year.

    • Gordon permalink
      October 22, 2016 4:22 pm

      And in the lower 48 we breathe a sigh of relief.

  7. gordon permalink
    October 22, 2016 4:17 pm

    Welcome back Allen and Jude. Still the best political commentator in cyberspace in my book. Seventeen more days.

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