can’t duck this one
Although I’m a practicing agnostic, I must confess there are times when I sense deities at
play. If I could accept any supernatural being, it would be the god of absurdity. And, wow,
did She/He/It just moon us a good one.
When I first read about this on the CNN website, I thought the story had strayed from the
Onion. Sadly/hilariously, it’s for real. Likely you heard about it, but I can’t take the risk
you haven’t. Stewart/Colbert are on summer break, so it’s my duty to inform you that
Donald Trump is going to be honoured as Statesman of the Year by the Sarasota County,
Florida, Republican Party.
When I realized that this wasn’t an intentional joke, I thought what most anyone with a grasp
of logic would think: “Getthefuckouttahere!”
But it’s true. Joe Gruters, the chair of the group, explained that Trump “is one of the few
people in America that (sic) can command the respect of people from all walks of life.” I’m
assuming he said that with a straight face, being a Republican.
He added that Trump “continues to excel” and is a “consistent winner”, glossing over The
Donald’s four bankruptcies. The award will be presented August 26th in Sarasota, on the
eve of the Republican National Convention in nearby Tampa. Gruters estimates that the
event will be attended by 650 people and raise $100,000.
“There’s no bigger name in America than Donald Trump, political or nonpolitical,” Gruters
exulted. Sorry, Jesus.
My parents raised me to believe that a statesman or stateswoman is superbly tactful. Mom
was quite specific about that. Gruters, however, downgraded the criteria to “a wise, proven
and respected leader”. He needs to continue slumming it down to include Trump.
Let’s review: Trump persists in keeping the birther kerfluffle alive, even after the Tea Party
has abandoned it. Last year he said he’d found compelling new evidence but failed to provide
it. Recently he renewed his innuendos, then immediately chided the press for dwelling on the
issue.
Trump has been less than diplomatic toward women and the LGBT community. He opposes
same-sex marriage and civil unions. As co-owner of the Miss USA Pageant, he has contestants
march past him to “separate those he finds sexually appealing from those he does not.”
When Gloria Allred, the famous womens’-rights lawyer, challenged him for barring a trans-
gendered participant in the Canadian Miss Universe Pageant, he said that she would be “very,
very impressed” with his penis.
A statesman? Absolutely not. But he would do the GOP proud as ambassador to Saudi Arabia.
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Anchor Struck 
since trump started the birthing crap i can not even watch his stupid apprentice show. i at least used to find it amusing.. nothing he does is amusing anymore. he is a fattish, balding asshat.. he is actually a lot more (and worse) than that but i can’t waste anymore disgust on him when the republicans have so many to be disgusted with or about.
Agreed. I urge you to save your disgust and rest up. You’ll need it when the conventions and fall campaigns start. May I suggest you treat yourself to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report next Monday night, if you don’t already? You know that Jon and Steven will be ripping into The Donald. Stewart is particularly fond of lampooning him. He does a hilarious impersonation of him. I fully expect to be doubled over with laughter.
i was going to save my disgust for the conventions and then the whole bain thing really ramped up.. now i am more disgusted and will need to rest up even more. especially if the media and the country let him get away with this ‘haven’t worked there since 1999’ crap.. i feel a bitch slap coming on…
According to the Huffington Post, “a corporate document filed with the state of Massachusetts in December 2002 — a month after Romney was elected governor — lists him as one of two managing members of Bain Capital Investors”. He has a deepening problem, one he’s confounding by sandbagging on his tax returns.
I couldn’t believe Will Farrel received the Mark Twain Award!
Better him than Trump.