bachelor’s banquet
Last night I ate enough calories to fuel my body well into October.
Jude’s coming home from a business trip today, so I thought I’d
have a extraordinarily manly meal that she shouldn’t have to
witness. She worries about me, don’t you know.
This had to be a special meal, one to honor my past and future.
Since I have no clue as to what’s ahead, I went back to my roots.
My greasy roots. The traditional cusine of the Midwest and the
South exists only to be fried. Hence, I started with bacon, found
the perfect counterpoint (mac & cheese), and brought it all to
full potential with Oreos. Witness:
Of course, it’s all about presentation, and everything about this
meal — from the splashy plate design, to the droll use of broccoli
instead of parsley, to the playful stacking of the Oreos — coyly
says “eat me!” Here’s some detail:
I wanted to keep the
meal elegantly simple.
This called for a single
candle and a lone flower
(the lone flower I could
find). Selecting the wine
was a tad of a conundrum.
Do I highlight the grain-
fed goodness of the bacon
with a 2002 Peter Michael
Ma Belle-Fille chardonnay from Sonoma County, or respect the rich
tradition of the mac & cheese’s sodium phosphates with an ’06 Even-
stad Reserve Pinot Noir from Domaine Serene in the Willamette Valley
of Oregon?
In the piquant spirit of the food selection, I decided to be bold and
went with an ’11 Pepsi instead. Perfect. It tied everything together
magnificiently.
One more thing: here’s how the meal would have looked to you
if you are approximately 45 inches tall and squint:
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Anchor Struck 
Lordy, that meal looks disgusting! Jude is going to tan your hide!
She needn’t bother. My hide already has enough preservatives in it.
~grin~ This made me laugh and laugh… I mean, come ON. Everybody knows that you’re supposed to pair bacon with CHIPS AHOY.
Well, as a sporadic bachelor, I have a lot to learn. Would it change anything if I told you they were double-stuffed Oreos? And with just those six cookies, I got 96% of my RDA of saturated fats.
2011 is a good year for Pepsi~!
I think it’s comparable to its 1997 harvest.
Excellent presentation, and about the only thing that would have made it more perfect is an after-dinner glass of milk to pair with the cookies…Oreos or Chips Ahoy!
I actually did that several hours later. I just couldn’t eat dessert right away after the first two courses.
I know you learned your nutrition skills at FPHS!
Thanks. When I was cooking that, I was thinking “what will Gil eat?” A definite step down from those incredible French dip sandwiches from Ray’s Grill in Monroe, eh?