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Matt, I hope we hardly know ye

April 15, 2021

I’ve got my schadenfreude on of late, watching Florida Congressman Matt Gaetze hopefully flame out. Gaetze is the very worst of GOP presidential hopefuls believing that staying in the wake of Trump is the best route to the White House. No one has his or her nose further up Aging Orange’s bulbous buttocks. He has based his bad boy persona on 45’s most noxious attributes, of which there are too many to list in my lifetime.

Gaetz is already known to boast of his sexual conquests, complete with photos, on the floor of the House. That has prompted the interest of the chamber’s ethics committee. But his much bigger concern comes from a DOJ investigation into a possible meet-and-greet with a underage hooker. He denies all, don’t you know. That’s straight out of Trump’s playbook.

Problem is, Joel Greenberg, a co-partying friend of his, is facing 33 federal counts, including embezzlement, so Greenberg is working with the feds to cut his jail time. There is, of course, the chance that he could slide on it all, giving him the impeachment narrative that worked so well for He-Who-Cheats-At-Golf.

But we can always hope for the worst. At the very least, Gaetz will come out of it reminding people of Roy Moore, the Republican who couldn’t even win an election in Alabama because he, too, liked to date women half his age. Still, I’m hoping for the full weight of the law on his monty. Gaetz should have heeded the warning that fellow Floridian Jimmy Buffett once sang, “fifteen will get you twenty”.