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send in the clones

January 29, 2021

I’m still unknotting from the last five years and the last three months and the last 23 days since the failed insurrection, so I’m finding precious little quality time to marvel at the death throes and birth pangs ripping the GOP apart. With its current leadership, I wonder if Republicans are actually capable of soul-searching.

When rookie Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene filed impeachment charges against Biden on January 21st, she launched a career arc that will more likely be remembered for its brilliance than its longevity. Greene has valiantly set aside her campaign against cannibalistic pedophiles to call bullshit on Biden’s treasonous machinations. Happy contrails, Marge.

Having learned nothing from its faux coup flop, the GOP has chosen to veer even further right, ignoring the hemorrhaging of voters from their rolls. The Arizona Republican Party recently chastised Governor Doug Ducey, Jeff Flake and Cindy McCain (yes, John McCain’s widow) even as it’s lost 9000 members since January 6th. And this is a state that is steadily turning blue.

Ted Cruz oozes more slime than any other mammal I’ve ever seen. He continues to cozy up to Donnie Covidseed, somehow reasoning that Trump is the path to victory. Marco Rubio, bless his heart, pukes up party talking points absent the slightest insight. Stay the course, Marco, because you’ll be running for re-election in ’22 as investigations and charges from the Capitol debacle grow even more damning.

Munchkins, all. The only one who really worries me is Josh Hawley. He’s Trump in better packaging, just as unbound by ethical constraints as the Master. I think he’ll burn out, but he might be the last man standing come November ’24. Random Chance perserve us.