multiply by your mother’s maiden name
Immigrating/emigrating is a lot easier when your new home features the
same language. There are some differences, of course. Canadians use a long
“o” for words like “product” and “process”. I’m accustomed to saying “pra-“.
They also use a flat “a”, as in “flat”, so I had to relearn how to pronounce
“drama” and “pasta”. I can tell if I’m watching an American or Canuckian
TV network by the way a Mazda ad enunciates its product. Sorry. I meant
to say “product”.
I’m also learning the nuances of my new language. If you ask to use the
bathroom or toilet in a public place, the employees will know you’re from
the U.S. if you say “bathroom”. (Not that they’d be so forward as to mention
it.) Say “washroom” and kindly flatten your “a”. I lived many years in
Louisiana and I still sometimes pronounce it “worshroom”.
If something is sturdy or well-built here, it’s skookum. If things are fine
or matters resolved, Bob’s your uncle. And our neighbours do not say
“eh” nearly as much as the McKenzie brothers would have you believe.
The metric system wasn’t that difficult to learn. Most of it is straight
conversion. Multiply kilometers by .6 to get miles. Multiply liters by
four, then subtract 10 percent to get gallons. This is helpful when
you want to tell your friends in the states the price of gas, which
averages about $4 a gallon.
It doesn’t matter too much, however. Folks here know the U.S. system
well. No one, in fact, ever says “my truck gets crappy kilometerage”.
The one exception to easy conversion is that from Fahrenheit to Celsius/
Centigrade. There’s no simple factor or formula. No logic, even. 32 degrees
Fahrenheit is zero Celsius, but -40 F. is -40 C. It’s like “multiply by your
mother’s maiden name, carry the ampersand…”
So I’m learning it by rote. I know that 10 C. is 50 F., 16 C. is 61 F. and 37 C. is
98.6 F. I can extrapolate from those points.
My most difficult adjustment has been the change in latitude. I’ve spent
most of my life between the 32nd and 38th latitudes. So here above the 49th
Parallel, sunrises and sunsets vary much more. On the December solstice,
there’s 90 minutes less daylight than I’m used to. The beautiful flipside
of that, however, is the 90 more minutes of light on the June solstice. I
love staying outside until dark near 11 pm in the summer. And I’m quite
willing to go inside at 4 pm in the winter.
Oh, and it’s impossible to make decent sun tea here.
P.S. I’m having a technical problem answering some of the comments
you folks have been so thoughtfully providing. I truly appreciate the
support. Even my mentor hasn’t been able to figure it out. Please bear
with me as I make my rookie mistakes.
