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the looming threat of lutefisk

January 25, 2018

I’d like to thank all of you — well, both of you — who commented on my last post.  Oddly, both are former high school classmates.  Al, a fellow Vietnam veteran, spun a far-fetched tale about a Shrek-like ogre named Trump who enlisted My Pretty Pony and Squid Ward to help drain a swamp populated by dinosaurs, Billary, Obowma and his side kick Joe.

The dinosaurs et al. tried mightily to defeat Trump, but the ogre and his American eagles prevailed.  A compelling story, Al, especially considering that you outed yourself as an old guy who knows who My Pretty Pony and Squid Ward are.  You must have grand kids.

Gordon, who actually lives in the swamp, said he’d have to give it some thought.  He’s more concerned about a local “whorey” anarchist who, coincidentally, is also named Trump.

So, thank you, gentlemen.  Your input is appreciated.

Let’s move on.  We have bigger fisk to fry.  The actual Trump is in Davos, Switzerland, talking up the strong U.S. economy as the dollar weakens against the euro and other currencies (Canada’s dollar, for one).  His Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin says a weaker dollar will help trade.  This did not calm international markets.  It doesn’t help that Trump has threatened to scrap NAFTA, and Trudeau has reaffirmed Canada’s commitment to the TPP.

If Trump’s economy does indeed continue booming, he’s going to have to get real on immigration.  Good jobs are already difficult to fill.  I don’t see how he can win on this.  If he dumps on the DREAMers, he’ll offend a sizable voting bloc that the Pew Research Center predicted in 2012 could double in size by 2030.  That would be 40 million Hispanic voters.

True, they didn’t turn out as expected in 2016, even as Trump constantly insulted and threatened them, but now those threats are being carried out.  He said today that he wants to offer the DREAMers a path to citizenship.  Breitbart News is now calling him “Amnesty Don”.  Depending on what he last reads or hears, he could change his mind many more times on this.

Add to this the Stormy Daniels turbulence, which has had much better (sorry, I can’t resist) “legs” than I first guessed.  And Michael Wolff’s book quotes Steve Bannon as saying there were many other payoffs for Trump’s indiscretions.  Wolff  hinted on one of his many talk show appearances that Trump is carrying on an affair in the White House now.  He won’t say who, but my money is on 29-year-old Hope Hicks, his Communications Director.  You’d recognize her.  She’s the one who always looks like she’s posing for Playboy.

Is it any wonder that Melania chose to stay home from the Davos summit?  Her handlers cited logistical conflicts.  Then she visited the Holocaust Museum in the Beltway.  How much of a conflict can that be?  The Museum is closed only for Christmas Day and Yom Kippur.

But I’ve buried my lead yet again.  I’m idly speculating that while Trump is in Switzerland, someone will tell him that he is much closer than usual to non-shithole Norway.  Wouldn’t he be tempted to pack Air Force One with Norwegian immigrants to start outnumbering all those Mexicans, Haitians and Africans?  About 350 Norwegians got U.S. green cards last year.  He’d have to do a reverse Berlin Airlift.

If he flooded America with Scandinavians, they would doubtless bring their culture.  That means the U.S. would see much more lutefisk than even now.  Lutefisk is a staple of the Norwegian diet.  It’s made by soaking whitefish in lye.  The lye is then soaked out, but would we know that for sure?

One knowledgeable lutefisk enthusiast assures us that we would know immediately if it had been improperly prepared because our mouth would start burning.   Given how Trump hates regulating things, would we ever be safe?  The only mention of caution I’ve found so far is that the Wisconsin Employees Right to Know Law specifically exempts lutefisk in defining “toxic substances”.





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