aardvarks and orgasms

Watching the maelstrom in Charlottesville, I was struck by a pundit’s comment about the difference between the two sides.  “It’s like apples and oranges,” he observed.  I saw it as way beyond that, thus the title for this post.

Regrettably, the distinction was blurred by the Antifas.  Their equipment and tactics were so similar to the Whiteys that sometimes I couldn’t distinguish between them.  Neither could they.  Some lad getting rousted yelled “I’m on your side!”

I hope the peaceful protestors will distance themselves from the Antifas, although I understand the frustration of the far left.  I, too, once ran with a pack of young men eager to bust the skulls of the Unenlightened: the Marine Corps.  But we were disciplined and got veterans’ benefits.

Heather Heyer’s death marks a significant turning point in Trump’s presidency.  His pathetic flailing to justify What Cannot Be Absolved just keeps spiraling downward.  Today he trotted out a thoroughly debunked tale about General Pershing killing Muslims.  And he released the Hound.  Steve Bannon assured a weary nation that we should be maniacally worried about trade with China.

And then there’s Chris Cantwell.  A major player at Charlottesville, he was prominently featured in a VICE report strutting his stuff.  Smug, vile and scholarly in revisionist Dixie history, he was Aryan arrogance incarnate.  It was like he was preening himself for a post in The Don’s cabinet, maybe Attorney General.  Even with mace in his eyes, he knew where the cameras were.

Then he went home and discovered that the Charlottesville police may wish to speak to him.  So the Mighty Whitey goes on Facebook crying that he’s terrified, and all he did was try to do things right.  Yeah, Chris.  Far right.

Likely the baseline Chris Cantwell is between these two excesses.  However, he told VICE that he’s looking for a leader who’s like Trump “but a lot more racist”.  This guy is pushing Anthony Scaramucci out of the loon gallery.

I simply must go eat a burger that Jude is making to celebrate our 12th anniversary on the farm.  But I wanted to share that I believe I have a solution to this Confederate statues problem: put them in a museum at Mar-a-Lago.  I’m certain that the Mad Yam would welcome them.  Rednecks could visit until the non-existent climate change covers the boys in grey with seawater.

Maybe then they could let go of the war that ended 150+ years ago.