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finally! a rich Caucasian male in the White House

July 21, 2017

For those of you worried about the lack of former Goldman Sachs employees in The Don’s administration, breathe again.  With the appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as his communications director, Trump drains even more of the swamp into the White House.

Scaramucci had just become a honcho at the U.S. Export-Import Bank, a federal agency.  He’s a Harvard graduate.  I’m certain of this because he mentioned it several times during his roll-out today.  On January 12th, he was named: (deep breath) Presidential Advisor and Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison and Intergovernmental Affairs.  But by the end of the month, with his appointment still pending, it fell through.

Two fun facts about him: (1) he did fundraising for Obama in 2008; and (2) he wrote the book Goodbye, Gordon Gekko: How to Find Your Fortune Without Losing Your Soul.

Sean Spicer will stay on through August, doing Trump-knows-what.  Please feel free to enjoy that time referring to the Scaramucci-Spicer team as “Scary Spice”.  Sara Huckabee Sanders replaces Sean.  She’s been seen — mostly just heard — recently filling in for him.  Although she relays Trump’s whale shit as diligently as Spicey did, at least she coats it with a thick molasses-and-magnolias Southern drawl.  Look for Trump to tweet that he’s saving taxpayers money by paying her 30% less than Spicer, making America ever greater.

Scaramucci has the confidence, look and gloss of a  . . .  well, Wall Street lawyer.  His main qualification for the job, apparently, is a Jonestown-level loyalty to the Mad Yam.  When asked about Trump’s assertion of the phantom 3 million illegal voters, he said “if the President says it, it’s most likely true”.  Preserve that wiggle room, Anthony.

Even though we’ve seen the Cheeto get winded just from walking, Scaramucci assured us that Trump is a superb athlete.  He has seen Aging Orange throw a football through a tire, although he didn’t specify the distance.  He’s seen him sink foul shots while wearing a top coat.  How the basketball ever got into the top coat, we’ll never know.  (Thanks, Groucho.)  Such fawning fare reminds me of the accounts of the North Korean Kims bowling a perfect game and scoring 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf .

So, good luck, Scary.  All you have to do is make the world sympathetic to a man whose ego is so crushing that he maniacally pursues a steaming pile of a health care bill  just to get “a win”.  Problem is, there’s not enough turd polish in the world.

  1. hookmoon permalink
    July 21, 2017 4:12 pm

    SNL will never be the same

  2. Gordon permalink
    July 23, 2017 6:27 am

    Once again you’ve thrown a perfect analytical spiral through the Aging Orange ‘ s spare tire. But a burning question remains: What the hell happens to Melissa McCarthy now? Oh the humanity!!

  3. Linda Lee in Colorado permalink
    July 28, 2017 7:49 pm

    Apropos of nothing, I’d love to hear your opinion of the Canadian health system. As we’ve watched the ACA drama unfold over the last few days, I’m left to wonder how well nationalized health care works in other countries. And why we can’t figure it out in our own.
    Thanks. I really enjoy it when I see a new post from you – you never did tell us the story of the new puppy.

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