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the plot thins

January 21, 2016


Humour is a primal necessity because we’re aware of our own mortality.  It tends to be less structured than philosophy or religion, but it’s funnier.  The greater the potential for disaster, the more we seek out the yucks.  Thus, The Donald’s candidacy — careening from jingoism to narcissism with an occasional good idea — is guaranteed laughs.

Monday Trump made the requisite GOP stop at Liberty University, Jerry Falwell’s monument to himself.  Even though the student body was required to attend, there were likely plenty of his young supporters there.  LU accepts applicants in the the top 65% of their high school graduating class.

Last year, listed Liberty 639th of the 650 colleges it ranked.  In all fairness, though, U.S. News & World Report rated LU 80th in regional universities, in the South.

So Trump trundled into Lynchburg, Virginia, hair in hand, to convince LU that he’s their guy, although not THE Guy.  He even conceded that the Bible was a better book than his own The Art of the Deal.  So we now know that, at least once in his life, Donnie was humbled.

But that was the limit to his humility.  I assume he gargled with some Dom Perignon later.  To get the taste out of his mouth immediately, he spouted red meat bullshit even bullshittier  than usual.  He referenced a Biblical quote as “two Corinthians” rather than “second Corinthians”.  Even I know that’s not the common usage.

Interviewed later by a reporter who might have smelled blood in that red meat, Trump refused to name his favourite Bible quote because that was too personal.  He didn’t want to get into specifics.  Then he had no preference between the Old or New Testament.

The non-specific dodge brought Sarah Palin to mind.  Who can forget, during the Katie Couric interviews, her inability to name an important Supreme Court decision, or even a publication she reads?  Or her rambling answer to Charles Gibson’s question about the Bush Doctrine?  The Rabid Right, that’s who.

Not to worry.  The day after Trump fertilized the state of Virginia, he trots out Palin herself.  That’s right, the Vanilla from Wasilla, is back.  And she’s better than ever, if you’re a satirist.  Steven Colbert has already roasted her for her spirited though incoherent endorsement of The Donald.

It was classic Palin.  Her word salad was even heightened by her delivery.  Rambling along like a speed freak who just escaped from a nunnery, she pushed all The Usual Buttons.  She even worked in”drill, baby, drill!”  And the Palin family dysfunction is back, too.

Her son Track has just been arrested on domestic violence and weapon charges.  But Sarah’s got it covered: it’s Obama’s fault.  See, Track served a tour in Iraq, and POTUS is disrespectful to veterans.  She reasons that Barack has done nothing for them.  Check PolitiFact, Sarah.  He doesn’t have a perfect record, but he has fully funded the VA, expanding existing programs and creating new ones.

I do feel for Track.  Sarah says he has PTSD and I won’t challenge her on that claim.  But you can’t exploit his disability for political reasons one minute, then preach about personal responsibility the next.

Well, maybe YOU can.  You’re Sarah Fucking Palin.  Reality is something you can take or leave.  Welcome back.  Maybe there is a god, at least a comedy god.  This is gonna be a hoot.


  1. January 22, 2016 3:49 am

    with the bs going on both sides..the right side everywhere, the left with the asshattery of the ‘if my candidate doesn’t win the primary, i will not vote in the general election’ i am really find little humor in the coming election.

  2. January 22, 2016 10:51 am

    Oh what truth! I am ashamed of what is going on….

  3. Gordon permalink
    January 22, 2016 4:59 pm

    One of your best. Washington Post worthy and encouragement for those of us in the South (south of the Canadian line). I foresee a new play: Sarah Palin Walks into a Campaign.

  4. Anonymous permalink
    January 27, 2016 8:27 am

    That’s an insightful comment: “Humor is a primal necessity….less structured than…but funnier…”
    Got my morning laugh with the “hair in hand” phrase. Thanks! Inveterate Teacher

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