Ford’s theater

Jude and I have needed a hearty laugh of late, and we’re getting it in abundance by following the Rob Ford fiasco.  If you’ve just been born or awakened from a coma, let’s review: Ford is the mayor of Toronto.  For months he’d been dogged by rumours of a video of him smoking crack.  He kept asking that it be produced, all the while denying he’d used. When it finally surfaced, he danced around his denials by claiming that he was only asked if he was currently smoking it.  There are ample sound bites to the contrary.

His defense for the one time he’ll cop to is that he must have done it in a drunken stupor.  When he was recently asked if he’d bought illegal drugs in the past two years, it took him eight seconds to answer “yes”, his eyes darting around like he was desperately trying to find a way to weasel out of the query.  In refuting a female staffer’s claim that he offered her oral sex, he explained that he was married and had “plenty to eat at home”.

The man is an extended Monty Python sketch.  The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Saturday Night Live and late night comics are feasting on Ford.  And they have plenty to chew on.  He’s the size of three stereotypical crack users, looking at times like he’s about to detonate like the Pythons’ Mister Creosote.

I’m generally loathe to criticize another person’s physical appearance, but nearly all of Ford’s misery is self-inflicted because of his refusal or inability to take any responsibility.  He is the Anthony Weiner of the North: clueless, totally self-absorbed, completely a victim in his own eyes.

Plus he’s a bull in the china shop.  A day or so ago, rushing to address some off-camera brouhaha at a Toronto City Council meeting, he plowed into a woman and nearly knocked her down.  The council has stripped him of most of his powers because he refuses to quit.  Ford’s supporters point out that he still has a 44% approval rating, ignoring the 56% who don’t approve.

I’m keen to see a fresher poll.  Maybe a big dip would help Ford in his shoddy decision-making.  I’ll be watching either way.  This is the most fascinating implosion of a public figure I’ve ever seen.