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Mitt and me

October 19, 2012

I’ve cut back on my political news consumption because the whale shit being

generated by the presidential campaign seems like it’s piled up even past the

the 49th Parallel.  As Lily Tomlin’s mother said, “enough is enough”.


And, as Lily herself said, “no matter how cynical I get, I can’t keep up.”


Example: Mitt Romney’s official website boasts of how he turned the 2002 Salt Lake

City winter Olympics from a financial disaster to a success, but fails to mention that

he was amply aided by 410 million dollars from the federal government.


But, as I immerse myself in the baseball playoffs, I do wish to come clean about a

related item: I hung out with Mormons for a day.


In 1993 I was working in the L.A. area.  I had just bought a VHS camcorder with

the intention of becoming the next Steven Spielberg, or at least Ed Wood.  I was

making comedy shorts at the Torrance public access station, recruiting co-workers

for talent.


One of my supervisors knew of this, and asked me if I would tape her daughter’s

wedding.  So, totally unprepared, I showed up one spring morning at the Mormon

temple in Westwood, the largest one not to be in Salt Lake City.


The shoot presented an immediate problem.  I wasn’t allowed in the temple because

I wasn’t a Mormon, and I didn’t have the time or inclination to convert.  The best I

could do was record the young couple as they exited.


There was an official dressed in top hat, tails and white gloves announcing each pair

of newlyweds as they left.  He said he’d give me a few minutes notice so I could be

ready to shoot.  The church was really cranking them out that day.  After an hour or

so, they emerged to the cheers of the non-Mormon attendees, including the bride’s



The next part of the festivities was a brunch at the home of the groom’s parents.  They

lived on the Palos Verdes peninsula, which features some of the choicest real estate in

the U.S.  I wove through the crowd, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible someone

with a camcorder on his shoulder could be.


The hosts were most gracious, insisting that I take a break and get something to eat.  I

graciously complied.


In the evening, everyone reconvened at a yacht club in Long Beach.  The couple restated

their vows in a candlelight ceremony for all to see.  Dinner and dancing ensued.  I was

exhausted by the end of the day.  I went home to my van as the L.A. area experienced a

spectacular electrical storm.


The next day I edited the tape and made copies for family members.  I cleared about $300

for the weekend.  Not a fortune, but I did get a free brunch and dinner out of it.  And it kept

me off the streets.



  1. October 20, 2012 12:22 pm

    Seems there’s a LOT romney’s “failed to mention”!!

    • October 22, 2012 8:15 am

      And now we have the new wrinkle of Romney being linked to the company that provides electronic voting machines in Ohio.

  2. October 20, 2012 8:28 pm

    Hey, Allen, I admire your restraint in not making funny comments about the stranger parts of Mormon life, such as baptizing the dead (apparently Anne Frank has been baptized by Mormons several times, though it’s kind of odd for them to baptize Jewish people). With all the dirty politics down south, I haven’t heard anyone talk about Romney’s religious background. So there are some good manners left. Which I usually believe in but maybe not in this case. His religious background could be a big problem if people vote for that stuffed shirt who says whatever people want to hear.

    Have you been over to Stubblejumpers lately? I haven’t been able to break my blogging addiction, so there are a few new articles. I had a good laugh rereading some of yours, such as the one where your virginity went a wandering. I guess it could have been worse!


    • October 22, 2012 8:26 am

      Thank you. It’s almost impossible for me to resist commenting on magic underwear. Billy Graham has removed Mormonism from his list of cults, and has bought some Romney ads. I think the rabid religious right is so set on dethroning Obama that they’d vote for an atheist if he’s white enough. I have indeed been to the Cafe recently. I really like the splashy look and blending of text and artwork. I tried to comment recently but was
      thwarted by WP and a password I couldn’t recall or find. Keep at it, please, and do keep the paper fruit. And thank you for listing me in your blogroll.

      • October 22, 2012 4:32 pm

        Hi, Allen,
        Tonight is the debate. That will be interesting. Just a little correction, I meant the Stubblejumpers Cafe that Kate and I were working on, and which I seem to have taken over. It is her other site that has the cool paper fruit. She sang today over there and it’s really nice. Supper in the slow cooker smells nice and Hubby made cookies, so off I go.

      • October 23, 2012 12:35 pm

        I apologize for mistaking the “Farm” for the “Cafe”. I just dropped by the eatery, and will go back as soon as I have the energy to digest the heady menu. I’m battling a bug right now. I did, however, manage to catch a lot of the debate during commercials of the Giants-Cardinals game. Every time we watched, it seemed like Obama had Romney back on his heels. Once Mitt was merely listing All the Stuff We Should Fear, which is the GOP’s meat and potatoes.

  3. Beth permalink
    October 22, 2012 12:35 am

    I concur with the good laugh. The other day I was haveing a down day and I thought… I need to hunt up Allen and see what he can do to get me out of the dumps. It worked.
    WordPress has locked me out yet again from my account. Never mind that the password and email has been the same for the past year, it says that it is not valid.
    I seem to have this problem once a year, and I wanted to post since I have something to post about.
    Take care Allen and I will be back when the forces that be allow me to be back in.

    • October 22, 2012 8:29 am

      I’m glad that I could brighten your day. Please let me know when you’re posting again. And you take care, too, Beth.

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