the perils of poutine

In response to a recent post, my longtime friend yet miniature golf foe Gordon

wondered if poutine might be some sort of great sausage.  Gordon is a man of

accomplishment.  He has a master’s in social work from Baylor University.  He

has been interviewed by Ted Koppel on ABC’s “Nightline”.  He has survived for

25+ years in the bubble that is the Beltway of Washington, D.C.

 

So it saddens me to learn that he might have an unrealistic regard for ground

meat in casings and/or a lack of knowledge of Canadian cuisine.  Poutine, old

chum, is a dietary staple here, much like grits, corn pone and hushpuppies

were for us in Louisiana.

 

It’s French fries covered with cheese curds in brown gravy.  It’s standard fare

at greasy spoons, pubs and chip wagons nationwide.  It’s offered at fast food

franchises like McDonald’s, A & W, Wendy’s, KFC and Dairy Queen.  It’s what

fuels Canucks for the long winters and hockey games.  It is Canada.

 

Poutine originated in Quebec and spread like a prairie fire to B.C.  One version 

of its birth has Fernand Lachance inventing it in Warwick, Quebec, in 1957.

He allegedly proclaimed “ca va faire une maudite poutine” (“it will make a

damn mess”), and that was before the gravy was added to keep the fries warm

longer.

 

The gravy typically is made from chicken, veal or turkey.  The fries are of

medium thickness, with a crunchy exterior and soft interior.  The hot gravy

is poured over the fries and cold curds just before serving to optimize the

gastronomical experience.

 

This epicurean delight is rich in many ways.  If you dine on poutine at A & W,

its 333 gram serving will give you 39 percent of your RDA — 780 calories — and

70 milligrams of cholesterol.  You’ll get 110% of your daily need for saturated

fat and 96% of your sodium.  As a bonus, “the food is quite low on sugars”, so

saith the website CalorieLab.

 

If you choose to eat it at the more upscale Dairy Queen, you can cut the calorie

count to 620 with its regular portion of 260 grams for $4.69 (CDN), but you can

double that with the poutine basket for a mere $2.20 more.

 

The best deal is at KFC, where you can buy a 371 gram order for $4.47.  That gives

you a whopping 860 calories, 320 more than its notorious Double Down, which

features bacon, cheese and the Colonel’s secret sauce encased in two pieces of

Original Recipe chicken fillets. 

 

If you order both courses, add some mac & cheese, top them off with a Fudge

Brownie Little Bucket Parfait and wash it all down with a giant soda, the staff

is legally obliged to call 911 for you.

 

On the plus side, poutine is a fairly good source of calcium and Vitamin A.

 

There are fancier versions of this classic.  They can contain beef, pulled pork,

lamb or some sort of great sausage.  Wikipedia observes that “atypically, the

dish may include additional ingredients such as lobster meat, rabbit comfit,

caviar and truffles.”

 

So that’s poutine, Gordie.  Maybe you could make a damn mess of it when you

watch the Baylor men’s and women’s teams as they navigate through March

Madness.  I’ll be up here watching and trying to figure out how Canadians

stay so robust and cheerful with their arteries clogged.