winners of sorts to the contest of sorts

I’ll be among the first to admit that the chicken-naming contest was ill-conceived.

There were rumours that it was just a cheap way to drum up interest in my blog 

and get that final chicken named.  I now regret starting those rumours.  I made it 

clear that I would accept bribes, particularly those of a green nature (environ-

mental or money).  However, none were forthcoming.

 

But I’m a person of reasonably-priced integrity, so let’s push on in announcing the

winner.

 

Wait.  First let’s review the contestants in the order they responded:

                (1) Gordon — Gordon and I have been friends for 50+ years. 

                       That’s probably why I recognized his name.  He’s lived

                        in Washington, D.C., for 30 years or so.  The effect of

                        that stress is obvious.  While others were courteous

                        enough to submit just one name, he entered six, typical

                        of the hubris of that area.  There’s also the question of

                        impropriety.  He once bought me a burger in a D.C. dive.

                        I realize that I said bribes in the contest were okay, but

                        this happened before the rules were quasi-set.  I don’t

                        want to be hauled in front of some Senate investigative

                        committee in the U.S. capitol.  Then again, if I was, Gordie

                        and I could go out for a burger afterwards.  I’d buy.

                        (2) Beanie — Beanie is a fellow blogger.   Also, we share an

                        addiction, dark chocolate, for which there is no cure or

                        treatment.  Not that we care.  After Gordon entered every

                         conceivable name for a chicken, she could only lament

                         “Dang”.  So I’m accepting that as her entry.

 

                          (3)  Dan — a first-rate mind with a first-rate website, Dan

                          was able to find a name Gordon hadn’t used.  Problem is,

                           he’s my son-in-law’s brother, so again we have the hint of

                           impropriety.  Remember, nepotism helped elect W. Bush.

 

                           (4) Rosie — another fellow blogger and a budding jewelry

                            entrepreneur.  She offered her own name, swearing that

                            it’s a little know fact that “chickens named Rosie are

                            terrific egg layers”.  Yet when I Googled that claim, I

                            could find no verification other than Rosie’s comment,

                             which inexplicably headed the results.

 

                           (5) Charlotte — an ex-classmate from high school who is

                           passionately pursuing a sustainable life in Arkansas.  I

                           passionately pursued her from afar in school, so again

                           we have the spectre of impropriety.

 

                           (6) Hudi — I believe this is my Kansas friend Judy who I

                            have long teased by pronouncing  her name with the

                            Spanish treatment of “J”.  I always spelled it “Hoodie”,

                            but I realize now that that’s how you spell the hooded

                            sweatshirt that conservatives believe is the cause of

                            all urban crime.  Whoever you are, I have disqualified

                            your entry “Sunday Dinner” as too heartless.

 

                             (7) kris — kris submitted “kate” after Kate of “Kate Plus 8”,

                             speculating that Kate is a good layer.  I’m very fond of

                             that name, but I’m not sure how the chicken would feel

                              about having a lower-case name when all the other

                              girls are capitalized.

 

                              (8) anonymous — he or she simply stated “Chicken

                              name: Maxine”.  I like the straightforwardness of that

                               and the name itself. 

 

But here’s the thing: the contest was over before it really got started.  After posting

the day I announced it, I went out to work on the coop.  When Jude got home, she

came out to the garden and picked up one of the chickens.  I was about to tell her

about the contest when she said “I think I’ll name this one ‘Sweetie’.  She comes

right to me and loves to be cuddled.”

 

You have every right to claim impropriety, but I, for one, would very much like

those improprieties to continue, so “Sweetie” it is.  However, to avoid lawsuits and

Congressional investigations, I am declaring all of you winners. As we buy more

chickens, they will be named in the order submitted.  Gordon, I have chosen

“Princess Layer” from your many suggestions because it’s very funny.  And Hudi,

I changed your entry to “Hudi”.

 

So here’s the line-up for our next eight chickens: Princess Layer, Dang, Justine,

Rosy, Ethel, Hudi, kate and Maxine.  By the way, the first prize of two weeks of my

respect was just a come-on. I already respect all of you, except maybe Hudi.

 

“Sunday Dinner”, indeed.