Valentine, you don’t have to cross your heart if you’d rather have lift and separation
Valentine’s Day is a lot easier to ignore than Christmas. I don’t
know of any negative names, like “Scrooge” or “Grinch”, associated
with VDay non-compliance. Like the yule, VDay has a rich history;
one that almost counterbalances the highjacking of the holiday in
the 80’s by the diamond industry. May your cutting lasers short
out, Zale’s.
I really went all out this year and got Jude exactly what she wanted,
a $166 bra. I didn’t know I’d done this until she asked me about a
credit card charge for that sum at a store in Kamloops. We don’t
shop in Kamloops, so we Googled it. “Oh, the bra,” she said, as she
read the name and raison d’etre of the company.
After she revived me from the jolt of sticker shock, she showed me
this wonderful bra (not to be confused with Wonderbra (TM)). It
lifts and separates. I assume that’s desirable. I’m too flat to know.
All the men in my family are small-breasted.
This bra among bras is made from top of the line material. It has
hidden compartments, quality craftswomanship and three rows
of four eyes for one row of four hooks. At $166, it should make
mint chocolate latte machiatto as well. Jude hastened to point
out that the price included the hefty HST and PST taxes.
She was so impressed with such an expensive and thoughtful gift,
she told me that I could have a Valentine’s Day gift of equal value,
minus the $50 she just spent on me at Canadian Tire for a Fiskars
chopping axe. I knew immediately what I’d buy, a garden zombie.
Only $90, and if I had a few bucks left over from S&H and taxes, I
could buy a mint chocolate latte machiatto.
Wouldn’t you buy a pricey bra to go below a face like this?
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Anchor Struck 
There’s link to the garden zombie — amusing — but no link to the source of the wonderful bra? That both lifts and separates? You have women readers too, you know. Please, the bra link!
According to those kind enough to comment, almost all my readers are women, Rosanne. I just talked to Jude. The website you want is TheAmazingBra.com. Was it the four instead of three hooks or the secret compartments that interested you most? The lift, or the separation?
That garden zombie is scary! But I’d love a fleet of them!
You don’t have to rush with the bra link for me. Thanks.
I thought about your situation when I wrote about Jude’s. I certainly didn’t want to offend you, but I also didn’t want to pass up such a prime topic for a post. Thanks for your graciousness, Coach. Those etiquette classes you took in prison have really helped.