Trump’s newest nothing burger

Even Donny J. himself isn’t finding much to distort from his jaunt to the mystic Orient. The optics were definitely pro-China. Xi strode confidently as Trump lumbered like a bear just out of hibernation. The General Secretary sat tall as the President leaned forward uncomfortably. The cheering Chinese children stood still as soon as Aging Orange went past them. At least those soldiers with the really long lances didn’t puncture and deflate the Prez.

Some trade agreements allegedly came out of the visit, but the gaggle of CEO’s who accompanied Trump haven’t made much of it yet. The group, which included Elon Musk, Tim Cook and NVidia’s Jensen Huang, have a combined net worth approaching a trillion dollars. And they probably flew for free.

So Trump is back home, doing what he’s most comfortable with: threatening Iranians with annihilation. He assures us that record high gas prices are a small price to pay for a nuclear-free Iran, even though he 86’ed the JCPOA in 2018. If I may extend the TACO, TOFU and NACHO food metaphors to the breaking point, his trip was CHICKEN CHOU MEIN.