another modest proposal

In 1729 Irish writer and clergyman Jonathan Swift published the satirical classic A Modest Proposal, in which he skewered hostile attitudes toward poor people by suggesting that the poor could sell their children to rich people for food. As an avowed agnostic, I pray that Trump never reads it. Irony simply does not penetrate his hippo hide.

But I have another modest proposal that might satisfy his hankering to annex Canada: trading U.S. states for Canadian provinces. B. C.’s next door neighbour Alberta has a lot of malcontents that want to join America. As Jude and I were moving up here we met a chap who told us, “Think of B.C. bordering Alberta as California bordering Texas.”

So I’m recommending that Trump swap us California, Oregon and Washington state for Alberta. That would be a gain of 77,726 square miles for Canada, so we would also throw in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland Island. They are all Maine-accessible. That favours the U.S. a bit, so Trump would have to give us Vermont. That might be the only thing to ever please him and Bernie Sanders.