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the growing threat at the border

August 6, 2018

As we enter the dog days, nearly all the Canadian provinces and territories are celebrating a holiday today.  It’s called by various names: Heritage Day in Alberta, Natal Day in Nova Scotia, Terry Fox Day in Manitoba and New Brunswick Day in New Brunswick.  I would normally scoff at New Brunswick for lack of imagination, but here in B.C., we’re honouring British Columbia Day.

Plus, it’s unCanadian to scoff.  And too hot.  Not Tunisia or Death Valley hot, but we hit 90 degrees F. recently.  This nonexistent climate change mirrors the heat Trump is starting to feel from the equally nonexistent Trump Tower meeting.  As the U.S. steams toward a constitutional crisis, I’m reminded more and more of Watergate because of the relentless incompetence of Those Who Should Know Better.

Based on the thinning of Don Junior’s smarmy smile, I’m guessing that Don Senior will soon be firing Mueller and/or Rosenthal, and/or pardoning Junior and/or Manafort.  If he does, we’ll need one of those wind tunnel fans to disperse the tonnage of shit that will hit it.

Which brings me to the problem at the U.S. border.   CBS reports that illegal crossings into America are up 142% this year.  That’s the Canadian-U.S. border, mind you — a 5,525-mile-long boundary that has 400,000 people and $1.6 billion in legal goods cross it daily.  It’s the world’s longest and busiest border.

Last year, 1,489 Mexicans were apprehended near this border.  Canada does not require a visa from Mexican citizens.  One-way flights to Montreal or Toronto cost just $300.  There are thousands of motion detectors and cameras.  And part of the line between Derby Line, Vermont, and Stanstead, Quebec, is marked by a row of potted plants.

If that’s not enough, Trump may insist that Canada pay for a wall.  If so, he’ll get the politest “fuck you” he’s ever heard.

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